Week in Review: Meth Mouth, Eddie Long Settles, Spike Lee's Comeuppance

Hello, boys and girls. Have a fantastic weekend and happy Easter! We'll be back Monday afternoon.

While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.

Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).

1. If you ever needed a reason to not do meth -- holy mother of God -- THIS MOUTHLESS METH ADDICT IS IT!!!!!
2. Shots were fired! Tyler Perry told Spike Lee to go to hell.
3. Bobbi Kristina has been hanging out with porn star/prostitution whore Montana Fishburne and Whitney Houston is beside herself.
4. The Kanye West charity foundation mysteriously went out of business.
5. A settlement is about to be reached in the Bishop Eddie Long gay sex case.
6. An intern stole $10,000 from Steve Harvey then fled.
7. A man dressed as a female mannequin was found in a women's restroom at a shopping mall masturbating.
8. There's an epic brawl brewing at a senior citizen community and it will having you gagging -- it sure had us in stitches.
9. A man chopped off his finger then he cooked and ate it for dinner.
10. The IRS placed a lien on Beyoncè's dad Mathew Knowles for unpaid taxes.
11. Speaking of Beyoncè....she released her new single called Who Run the World (Girls).
12. A man fired several shots at a burglar -- but it was just his reflection in the mirror!
13. A man serving time in prison for murder has filed a lawsuit demanding that the state pay for his sex change surgery.
14. A man beat his wife down while in divorce court.
15. The pill researchers hoped would prevent HIV/AIDS in women failed.
16. We spent hours laughing at Cookie the ticklish penguin.
17. A 6-year-old boy crashed his parents' minivan on his to buy food.
18. A woman went to pet a stranger's dog, it bit her face off.
19. A man in an electric wheelchair chased a woman around for three days!!!
20. Yet another baby was served alcohol at a restaurant. This time at Chili's.
21. Days after he was released from jail, a sex offender was re-arrested for masturbating in front of children at a park.
22. A drive-thru funeral parlor opened in California.
23. Puffy got sued.
24. Fake presidential candidate Donald Trump was talking out of his ass again.
25. A tornado ripped a hamburger out of a man's hand.
26. A lady placed an ad on Craigslist seeking a daddy for her baby because the child's father left her.
27. Burglars would think twice about breaking into this woman's home again.
28. An 8-year-old boy sued the drunk driver who killed his mother.
29. A woman broke into her husband's jumpoff's house and hid in the closet with a 12-inch knife, duct tape, garbage bags and bleach.
30. Things got all racist at a restaurant in South Carolina when the server called the customer "blackchick" on the receipt.
31. Speaking of racist...a Republican lawmaker sent an e-mail depicting president Obama as a chimp.
32. A plane carrying first lady Michelle Obama almost crashed due to an air traffic controller's error.
33. Sex offender Lawrence Taylor cried poor and refused to pay more in child support for his jumpoff's baby who is chronically ill.
34. A man raped an elderly comatose woman inside her room in a nursery home.
35. A prostitution whore who traded sex for potato chips is back in jail.
36. The Ricki Lake talk show is returning to daytime TV.
37. The latest thing that causes cancer? Working behind a desk.
38. This waitress made our week.
39. A man walked into a police station, gave cops a pill and asked to be arrested.
40. A woman died and was resuscitated after suffering a heart attack at a Lady Gaga concert.
41. A man stabbed another man to death for flipping channels on the TV.
42. An 8-year-old boy shared some his mother's weed with his teacher.
43. A 7-year-old boy was handcuffed by police for throwing a temper tantrum.
44. A lady bit her boyfriend's penis during an argument.
45. An elderly woman was dropped into the Arctic Ocean during a botched rescue from a cruise ship.
46. A man dressed a Jesus was seen dragging a cross through the streets.
47. A gangbanger was convicted of murder because he had all of the details of the crime tattooed on his chest.
48. Rapper Lil B is receiving death threats for titling his album I'm Gay.
49. Oprah can't save the soap operas.
50. Lindsay™ is in jail -- yet again.